Monday, April 25, 2016

Life Without Rules = Mass Chaos

Do you believe the advice that many psychologists give to parents of unruly children when they say, “ children want and need rules and boundaries?”  They say it makes them feel safe and secure to know what is expected and what is going on in their world. I am about to step out on a limb and say, we adults want and need the same thing!  I think it’s a problem today, that we no longer know who’s role is what? Anything goes, and any behavior is supposed to not just  to be tolerated, but accepted and promoted!  Isn't it amazing that yet, instead of a better world, we are lost, frightened, and no longer believe in any higher authority? For me thats because, too many doctors have chosen to not care when we needed them the most, too many pastors have called our kids “little shits” and sexually done far worse than that, too many police have shot someone just because they had the power to do it, too many governing officials live large and corruptly while we pick up the tab, too many teachers have lost their professionalism and been cruel to our children, too many elderly have been slapped around in nursing homes!

I want the rules back! I want morales back! I want to feel safe and secure again. I want to have a doctor that you go to for years and when you wind up in the hospital they show up concerned, and try their best to get you well. I want to go to a church with a pastor that probably isn't having affairs with multiple women, like ours was here awhile back while talking lovingly about his wife on stage, and conducting marriage seminars advising others on marriage at the same time! I want to tell my kids to always mind the teachers,  and in return to expect the teacher to be fair and professional to them. I want men and women to have roles again, and know what they are and step up and deliver. We have gone so far with gender equality that some men are quick to say,  you work and I’ll stay home and many women are doing 90%. Don’t we need a right and wrong? Don't we need to know how to best live in an ordered society? How do we live in any order when there are no social rules, and only laws? In the quest to accept all, we have lost our way in many ways in my opinion.  It’s no wonder children and adults alike are hiding in phones and video games! We can’t handle real life anymore… it’s so scary, even we adults can’t deal with it! 

I liked society better when people really sacrificed to become professionals, because they put so much into becoming those professionals that they came out with great purpose.  They set out in the world with a message something like, I care about you, and I want to serve my profession and mankind in a way that you see me as an authority in my chosen profession, and I'm someone who you can respect and rely on in that field. It seemed we could back then. I remember when I got into the social work program in Minot State years ago. There were about eleven of us in the program. I remember thinking that if I needed counseling (because I’d been though some by that time in my life), which of these people would I want to see, say I just dialed randomly from the phone book? ONE, one person who wasn't skipping class as much as possible, copying other peoples work, or just that seemed to be getting a piece of paper to earn a higher wage. That was the first time I remember being a little frightened, and understood why when looking for a mental health professional it's said to keep looking until you find one that you can click with if you fail to the first time.   You have probably heard the saying,  “children can never have too many positive role models in their lives”. I say adults need positive role models in their peers, and in their lives as well. It gives us a sense of hope, stability and direction. 

What kind of world is this when we are talking about bathrooms to use? Whether Christian principles our country was founded on, have to be compromised? Common sense just seems to be gone!  I don't know about you but I am overwhelmed. It could be my age I suppose, but mostly I am sad that all of our belief in society is so compromised. The political races are enough to make you lose all hope in humanity! 

So what are  the answers? What can we do? Personally, I tell my kids to follow the popular Bible study and, “put on the armor of God for you to live personally in your relationship with God. Stand on God’s word and be of that world first. Be people the world can depend on. Brendon, when you weigh the parcels for the plane tonight at work, do it well, so that that plane arrives safe and the pilot and all who depend on you, can know that you are the best aircraft loader you can be. Shelbey, be that professional teacher that doesn't have the two popular kids chose sides, while the unpopular are left unchosen day after day. When a kid in your class gets in trouble its because they chose to run through rule number one, two and three and now your parent is here and not because as the teacher you don't like them for some reason. Be the teacher they can believe in to be fair. Speaking of that, we were reminiscing one day about when Brendon was acting up in band in high school. The teacher said he was throwing keys and being disruptive, and he said she had it out for him. So I decided to go to band for a week. Every day I showed up and just sat in. He didn't want me there and the teacher didn't want me there either. That's all it took to resolve that.  I was trying to show the teacher if I have to show up and babysit him I will, and I was trying to show Brendon that I'll come and see for myself what's going on. Needless to say they had never a problem again after that week. Sad thing is you can't even do that these days because of the schools fear of school shooters! Sydney, run that business as honestly as you can, so the owner knows he can count on you to be fair honest with his company. Show those you manage that you will work as hard as they do. That your customers know you will give them the best haircut and customer service you can! And as a mother and grandmother I need to live up to being the best influence I can be in these little peoples lives. My Mother impacted my children immensely, and I want to do that too, in my own way. I think if we all did our very best to be people of integrity, and purposely be the brightest star in our own world we can restore peoples faith in humanity one at a time. 

I never want to write negative blogs, but the idea that living with no boundaries is the way to go -just doesn't fly with me. Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men-Douglas Bader

My Celebrity Dinner Party

If you had a celebrity dinner party for ten who would you invite?  Hmmm....first of all I wouldn't,  so this is total fantasy. So heres my list and I'd love to hear yours, and why.

1. Dr. Phil just because I admire straight shooters and maybe I'd learn something.

2. Kris Kardashian; I'd like to ask her some Mom questions.

3. Larry Fitzgerald; he seems like a really nice, genuine guy.

4. Celine Dion; I like her. She's kooky and real.

5. Oprah, I'd like to tell her how disappointed I am in her after loving her for years and believing she  didn't see color and now is all about color.

6. Garth Brooks, he's seen highs and seen depression too. I'd like to talk to him about that.

7. Samantha Brown, I'd like to talk travel with her and get some tips.

8. Ryan Gosling, he can't possibly be so quirky and cute can he?

9. Gerry Dee, he's funny.

10. Shawn Hannity, he has interesting ideas.