Saturday, March 9, 2013

Currency, What's Yours?










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When you hear the word currency you are probably like me, and think of money and only money. Different money for different countries yes, but it’s all about money of some sort. It might be green paper money, colorful paper money or coins. Today, I had a thought in the middle of loading the dishwasher while watching the dogs romping around. I had the thought that every living thing has currency of some sort…even dogs.

As children we start to learn what our personal currency is from parents, teachers and peers. What traits and gifts do we possess and have to offer the world, that are uniquely ours? What do our classmates like about us? Am I pretty? Am I smart? Can I make people laugh? Is sports my thing? Am I a singer….a dancer maybe? What gifts have I been blessed with that I can exchange to gain other peoples approval of me?

Sadly, as a child you also pick up the faults and negative personal traits you have to work around that detract from others approval of us. Sometimes the scale seems a bit unbalanced and people seem to have more of one than the other. Have you ever felt like some people have all the blessings and others all the hardship? I have felt that way many times and still do at my age. But some of the people with the least have the most when it comes to love and kindness.

As I said before, I have always seen myself as Roseanne type. By the time I started high school I was well aware that I was chubby, had crappy teeth and was not athletic to say the least! Because, I had low self esteem I wasn’t aware of any gifts I had at that time. I internally beat myself up all the time. Sad to say, it wasn’t until I hit FIFTY and lived through the growing up of my beautiful talented kids, that did the same thing I did…and dwelled on the bad and seemed oblivious to their currency like most of us seem to do! As a Mom, all I saw was their currency, and it drove me nuts when they were hard on themselves... but I have taught them well, in that department.

When I was fifty, I found my old high school annuals. I paged through them and saw myself in a whole new light! I wondered if just probably I wasn’t as horrible as I thought myself to be. I decided to page though it objectively. I held offices in my class all four years, I had friends…friends that all wrote in my messages that I would make a great social worker! Loving music, I always took band and choir and was editor of our high school paper. I saw myself as somewhere in the middle for the first time and was completely happy there. Too bad it took me so long to see it! Since that day, I see us all in a totally different way. I am not the worst and I’m not the best and neither is anyone else! We try to do the best with the good qualities and the bad traits we have to be our best self. EVERYONE has shortcomings and EVERYONE has personal currency…something or something’s we can offer other people and the world. If we hold all people in high regard, then we could accept other peoples shortcomings and enjoy their currency without jealousy, because we realize we are all blessed with different things and one is no better than another.

The purpose of this post is to encourage anyone who reads it,  to take stock of your currency, your good qualities. Don’t wait to write a resume to begin to think of any good qualities you “might” possess, and then wonder if they are even true... because to confess that you are good at anything seems boastful and wrong. I finally freed myself from most of my insecurity and put myself on the same page as I put others. If I say I am going to hold everyone in high regard that includes me, and occasionally I still have to remind myself of that fact!

Back to the dogs, romping around outside while I wash dishes…Papi has a kind, gentle, loving spirit.  On the other hand he has the most annoying habit of  peeing a little puddle if you talk to him at all, but his positive currency overrides that completely. Barbie is a typical female Chihuahua… bossy, distant, loyal and ornery. But her beautiful doe like eyes melt your whole being, and all the negative goes right over your head and out of your heart. I’m pretty sure it works the same way with humans don't you think?