Saturday, January 23, 2016
40 Things I'll Never Do
After being on this earth a good many years already, there are a few things I KNOW I won't be doing if I can help it!
1. Sleep on the hard floor. Nope... I like my 4" memory foam and eight or nine pillows! The last time Shelbey stayed here she slept with me and I was just dozing off when she piped up with do you have any flatter pillows? I laughed and said look around...I'm sure one of these is flat ha.
2. Appear on the Naked and Afraid TV Show. Seeing myself naked makes me afraid...I got a show all my own!
3. Go to "hot yoga", or hot anything. Don't like hot!
4. Run a marathon...I'm too damn lazy.
5. Make others more important than myself, I did that for years and I'm done with that. I keep myself on the same page as others.
6. Go on a roller coaster, did that for the kids a few times but I really hate them.
7. Sit through a scary movie in the name of entertainment.
8. Smoke cigarettes. Been there did that.
9. Have a baby, I'm a bigger wuss these days so it's a good thing I'm past my prime ha.
10. Wear a bikini, I might lose it.
11. Hunt an animal. Although if the neighbor's chickens keep jumping the fence so my dogs kill them and theres blood, guts and feathers all over I might hunt a neighbor...(THIS IS A JOKE)
12. Stop loving my children.
13. Be the quiet type
14. be a Kathy Griffin fan...DO NOT LIKE HER
15. Choose a Pepsi over a Coke
16. Topple around in high heels. I prefer my hips not broken.
17. Ice skate... my ankles fold up like a house of cards.
18. Buy underwear at a Thrift store
19. Believe a man that says, "go ahead I'm listening".
20. Dig my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive, carve my name into his leather seat, take a Louisville slugger to both head lights, and slash all four tires.
21. Get a sex change.
22. Date somebody twice my age ha..
23. Wear cheap tight shoes
24. Attend clown school
25. Stick my head out of a dressing room and say to the clerk, "this is a mile too big, you wanna grab me a size 2"?
26. Have washboard abs
27. Take a pole dancing class
28. Wear a tube top..thank me later
29. Start a fist fight
30. Put up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving
31. Crowd surf
32. Mud wrestle
33. Single space my Christmas letter
34. Eat a Jalepeno
36. Win a video game
37. Get Married
38. Watch a concert from someones shoulders!
39. Work in a butterball processing plant.
40. Not get annoyed when you don't answer someone fast enough and they say, "HELLO"?? Welcome to my shit list when that happens.
- ▼ 2016 (11)
- ► 2013 (11)
- ► 2011 (43)